A very common thing to do in life is to complain about the situation in which we live. We're not happy with this or we're disappointed with that... it was the only thing I ever truly hated about Carnegie Mellon. There is this weird social norm among many student groups on that campus to always complain about something whether that be campus food, classes, social opportunities, or the weather. I tried very hard not to do that same. My motto was, if you don't like it then change it, and if you're too lazy to change it then don't complain or just leave. Although I haven't come across this here yet, I've gotten the sense from a few expats, Caryl to be specific, that this is a common occurrence among Westerners living here. They like to complain. Everybody does it now and then, but here's some food for thought.
In an article published in Reader's Digest titled "The New Science of Being Thanksful: Making Progress," a study was discussed in which participants were made to keep a journal of either all the things they were thankful for or all the things that were negative about their life. Apparently the science of being thankful suggests that if we go about life focusing on what we're grateful for, improved general well-being from mental health to physical health starts to fall into place. Researches at UC Davis are reaching the same conclusions saying that "Gratitude is the 'forgotten factor' in happiness research." What would happen if we all did this? Would the world be rid of more [insert word for one who complains] and moaners and therefore be more a more happy place to live?
This past week, in a weekly Bible Study that I have with a group of coworkers and friends, we talked about a passage in Phillipians: "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things" 4:8. We're essentially given the task to do just what all these psychological studies tells us will make us happier. I highly doubt that Christianity is the only religion that has anything to say about this.
So... I'm going to do an experiment. Every day this week I'm going to keep a log of the things that I'm grateful for. I know I should be doing this every day, but for now we'll just do it for a week and see what happens.
2 comments:
I'm pretty sure the "finding something to complain about" thing happens at every college; griping is easy fodder for small talk, even beyond the college campus experience.
I think the bonding that happens over shared problems though such conversations, whether or not they are constructive w.r.t. the problem itself, can be valuable.
The expat community here sometimes does end up in a poisonous space, though, when frustration at the things we see as wrong or destructive overrides our ability to see the positives in the local culture, and we start talking with bitter condescension about the state of the world around us. I'm generally a pretty positive and happy person, and it still happens to me sometimes.
Marjorie wrote a blog post awhile back that I think should be mandatory reading for new hires (http://qatar.livejournal.com/245052.html) about her extra stage of culture shock.
I think that once expats get to a point that they are comfortable in this culture, they realize the good and the bad, and for the most part people talk about both the good and the bad. You'll find many people talking about the exciting things that they do and the things that frustrate them. And, some people get through the "downer" phase of culture shock easily and in others it seems to last forever.
All that said, I 100% agree with you - taking the time to consider how blessed we are is a great idea. Because we all are... incredibly so.
Post a Comment