I post a lot about the meaning of home. Part of that is because I think what one considers to be "home" is absolutely central to their identity. I see that all the time with the students here whose families live here in Qatar but are not actually of Qatari nationality. The centrality of home to my identity is complicated mostly by the fact that I moved several times in my childhood and then went away to school in a city I liked better than my hometown at the time, and now I'm living in a different country... That's the other reason why I post a lot about the meaning of home. It's a complicated question for me. I came to realize how much so over the break and ensuing trip to pittsburgh with a group of students from work.
None of my friends live in little old Oxford, OH, anymore. My mom lives there along with my grandmother, and that's about the only reason I even consider it "home." We've lived there since I was 10. Eight years later I left for Pittsburgh, PA, to go to school. When I returned during breaks, my friends would usually be back, but the number of returners kept dwindling as we neared graduation and finally started getting jobs of our own - most of which were outside of Oxford. So for the last few times, I've come home either to see nobody at all, hang out with maybe one or two people who are in town, or see people getting married and moving away. This last winter break I went to Oxford for 2 weeks to be with family. My Dad flew from Qatar with me, and Devin and Steve drove down from Chicago so it was everybody together for the first time in a while. I was content with staying at home, but one night we decided to go to "townie night" where all the local young adults go to the trashiest bar in town and pretend they care about each others' lives... Most of my good friends from high school weren't there so you can imagine how much fun I had. The funny thing was that the entire time it reminded me of high school. Every time I go home I feel like I'm being reverted back to the state that I was in as a high schooler, which wasn't exactly my prime.
Compare this to going back to Pittsburgh and returning to Oxford looks even worse. I had an amazing amount of growth in the 5 years I spent there. Everybody grows in college, and I think returning to campus just reminds me of how wonderful of a period of my life that was. I got to hang out with old friends, who are probably the friends I'll have for life, at least more so than many of my high school friends (but not all). I got to catch up with old mentors and coaches and supervisors. The only thing that keeps me from considering Pittsburgh my home is the fact that my parents don't live there. I think it's just that I have so many great memories associated with the place, the fact that I came to love the city and its many quirks so much in the 5 years that I spent there, the fact that I had my first really supportive community (outside my family of course) there in my own personal development both with the crew team as well as the church I belonged to, not to mention the school where I studied. I felt like Pittsburgh really freed me to be able to explore who I really was instead of pretend I was someone I wasn't. That's why it's so centrally tied to my own identity - because I finally found my true identity there. And for that reason I'll always consider it at least one of my homes.
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